
Relaod your three-bladed sword, get comfortable in your studded leather kirtle or chainmail bikini, and fire up the wizard van, it’s about to get weird! I am playing a solo game of Swords & Wizardry: a remake of the original 1974 Dungeons & Dragons and a few other classic TTRPGs. I play the game and then turn it into a weird psychedelic sword 7 sorcery story for your enjoyment.
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A Weird Fantasy Old-School Solo Role-Playing Game
Miria, Kale, & Edryk cross the shimmering plane of Amber, and then into the darkness of Abzû, beset on all sides by monsters and mysteries.
This episode includes a classic Dungeons & Dragons monster: the Aurumvorax, reproduced here based on the stats in the AD&D2eMonstrous Manual for Swords & Wizardry.
I did take liberties with the speed of the aurumvorax to make it more of a threat and more weasel-like.


Aurumvorax
The Aurumvorax or gold-gorger is an eight-legged weasel-like creature about 12′ long. It can burrow through solid rock. The aurumvorax eats gold, which it processes in order to produce teeth, claws, and fur of naturally shaped gold, and its flesh is infused with the metal.
Aurumvorax: HD: 12; AC: 0 [19]; Att: bite (2d4 + grab); SV: 3; Special: grab, bludgeoning resistance; MV: 24 or Burrow 3; AL: Neutrality; ML: 11; No. Appearing: 1; CL/XP: 15/5,800
- Grab: When an Aurumvorax hits with its bite, its target must make a saving throw or be grabbed. Once an aurumvorax grabs a foe only death can make it let go. At the beginning of each round, the aurumvorax deals 8 bite damage automatically, anc makes 2d4 claw attacks on the target that deal 2d4 damage each,
- Bludgeoning Resistance: An Aurumvorax takes half damage from bludgeoning attacks.
- Pelt: An aurumvorax pelt is worth 17,400gp
The Amber Random Encounter Table
| 3d6 | category | Encounter | # | Mein |
| 3 | Weirdness | Chaos Shock Troops* | special | Marching to war |
| 4 | Weirdness | The Yearning** | n/a | Weeping |
| 5 | Intelligent | Titan (Lawful) | 1 | Creating Beauty |
| 6 | Intelligent | Jaani | 2d3 | Wandering |
| 7 | Intelligent | Arcane | 1 | Trading |
| 8 | Humanoid | Elves | 2d10 | Exploring |
| 9 | Monster | Arumvorax | 1 | Foraging |
| 10 | Monster | Archon | 1d3 | Guarding |
| 11 | Monster | Griffon | 1d6 | Hunting |
| 12 | Monster | Leucrotta | 1d3 | Plotting |
| 14 | Humanoid | Paragons† | 2d10 | Patrolling |
| 14 | Supernatural | Sprite | 2d4 | Frolicking |
| 15 | Supernatural | Sirine | 1d3 | Resting |
| 16 | Supernatural | Demon, Greater | 1 | Destroying |
| 17 | Atmospheric | Sight of the Palace‡ | n/a | Blessing |
| 18 | Atmospheric | Scar of Chaos⁰ | m/a | Researching |
Notes
*Chaos Shock Troops: roll 1d6: 1-2: 3d6 Orcs, 3-4: 3d6 Gnolls, 5: 3d10 beast men; 6: 1d6 Ogres; led by an evil fighter level 2d4+2.
**The Yearning: All mortals must make a save or feel compelled to rest, stay, and seek service at the castle. They become blissful, being automatically surprised by later encounters, and at -2 to attacks and damage until they leave Amber. If all members of the party fail, they will seek to serve at the castle.
†Paragons: Nearly perfect divine reflectiosn of humanity. Generate an adventuring party but all statrs are at 2d4+10, maximum hit points, magical equipment. Loyalty to the Prunces of Amber
‡Sight of the Palace: A view of the crystal palace of Amber.
⁰Scar of Chaos: A rent in reality caused by wars to rule amber. Roll for an encounter from another random plane.
Music in this Episode
Original Music:
- “The Colonists’ Shanty” by Brian C. Rideout
From the Free Music Alliance:
- King Edward by Mister Smith (CC-BY) from the Free Music Archive
From Pixabay:
- “Cyberpunk Futuristic City” by INPULSMUSIC
- “Powerful Stylish Rock (Motivational Indie Rock Trailer)” by Sound for You
- “Gritty Blues Riff” by Catch-22 Music
- “Massive 90s Trip-Hop” Musinova
- “Dead Sci-Fi Ambient” by Everything is Dead
- “Dark Ambient Soundscape” by DELOsound
- “Danger” by SergePavkinMusic
- “Acidcore” by Jumping Bunny

Miria, Kale, & Edryk cross the shimmering plane of Amber, and then into the darkness of Abzû, beset on all sides by monsters and mysteries. This episode includes a classic Dungeons & Dragons monster: the Aurumvorax, reproduced here based on the stats in the AD&D2e Monstrous Manual for Swords & Wizardry. I did take liberties with the speed of the aurumvorax to make it more of a threat and more weasel-like. Aurumvorax The Aurumvorax or gold-gorger is an eight-legged weasel-like creature about 12′ long. It can burrow through solid rock. The aurumvorax eats gold, which it processes in order to produce teeth, claws, and fur of naturally shaped gold, and its flesh is infused with the metal. Aurumvorax: HD: 12; AC: 0 [19]; Att: bite (2d4 + grab); SV: 3; Special: grab, bludgeoning resistance; MV: 24 or Burrow 3; AL: Neutrality; ML: 11; No. Appearing: 1; CL/XP: 15/5,800 Grab: When an Aurumvorax hits with its bite, its target must make a saving throw or be grabbed. Once an aurumvorax grabs a foe only death can make it let go. At the beginning of each round, the aurumvorax deals 8 bite damage automatically, anc makes 2d4 claw attacks on the target that deal 2d4 damage each, Bludgeoning Resistance: An Aurumvorax takes half damage from bludgeoning attacks. Pelt: An aurumvorax pelt is worth 17,400gp The Amber Random Encounter Table 3d6categoryEncounter#Mein3WeirdnessChaos Shock Troops*specialMarching to war4WeirdnessThe Yearning**n/aWeeping5IntelligentTitan (Lawful)1Creating Beauty6IntelligentJaani2d3Wandering7IntelligentArcane1Trading8HumanoidElves2d10Exploring9MonsterArumvorax1Foraging10MonsterArchon1d3Guarding11MonsterGriffon1d6Hunting12MonsterLeucrotta1d3Plotting14HumanoidParagons†2d10Patrolling14SupernaturalSprite2d4Frolicking15SupernaturalSirine1d3Resting16SupernaturalDemon, Greater1Destroying17AtmosphericSight of the Palace‡n/aBlessing18AtmosphericScar of Chaos⁰m/aResearching Notes *Chaos Shock Troops: roll 1d6: 1-2: 3d6 Orcs, 3-4: 3d6 Gnolls, 5: 3d10 beast men; 6: 1d6 Ogres; led by an evil fighter level 2d4+2. **The Yearning: All mortals must make a save or feel compelled to rest, stay, and seek service at the castle. They become blissful, being automatically surprised by later encounters, and at -2 to attacks and damage until they leave Amber. If all members of the party fail, they will seek to serve at the castle. †Paragons: Nearly perfect divine reflectiosn of humanity. Generate an adventuring party but all statrs are at 2d4+10, maximum hit points, magical equipment. Loyalty to the Prunces of Amber ‡Sight of the Palace: A view of the crystal palace of Amber. ⁰Scar of Chaos: A rent in reality caused by wars to rule amber. Roll for an encounter from another random plane. Music in this Episode Original Music: “The Colonists’ Shanty” by Brian C. Rideout From the Free Music Alliance: King Edward by Mister Smith (CC-BY) from the Free Music Archive From Pixabay: “Cyberpunk Futuristic City” by INPULSMUSIC “Powerful Stylish Rock (Motivational Indie Rock Trailer)” by Sound for You “Gritty Blues Riff” by Catch-22 Music “Massive 90s Trip-Hop” Musinova “Dead Sci-Fi Ambient” by Everything is Dead “Dark Ambient Soundscape” by DELOsound “Danger” by SergePavkinMusic “Acidcore” by Jumping Bunny
Miria contemplates her past as she, Edryk, and Kale cross the Divine Seed of Amber, a place of beauty, perfection, and cruelty. This episode draws its inspiration from the setting of the Chronicles of Amber by Roger Zelazny, one of the top six inspirations for Dungeons & Dragons listed in AD&D‘s Appendix N. This scifi-dense story is mostly told in flashback. Much of my Scifi elements of my campaign are played using Cepheus Deluxe and White Star: Swords & Wizardry in Space, Galaxy Edition. I also mention a classic D&D monster, the Flail Snail. This issue introduces a race of humanoid cyborgs, The Zaeth. Zaeth: HD: 1; AC: 5 [14]; Att: Sonic Disruptor (1d6); SV: 18; Special: agility, bionics, sonar; MV: 12; AL: Neutrality; ML: 7; No. Appearing: 1d4; CL/XP: 3/90 Agility: Zaeth have thief abilities at a level equivalent to their hit dice. Bionics: Zaeth are immune to poison and disease. Their body temperature is always the same as the room. They cannot be healed with healing magic. Ultrasound: Zaeth can see texture in perfect darkness up to 120 feet away. I am also collecting emails for an AMA bonus epsiode!! Get in touch with me here! Music in this Episode Used with permission: “Classic Metal Chugga Chugga” by Jon Cohen From the Free Music Alliance: King Edward by Mister Smith (CC-BY) from the Free Music Archive From Pixabay: “Opus 7” by Christian D “Crystal” by Tyler Gill “Punk Rock” by Alex Grohl “The Enchantress” by OB-LIX “Turkish Bazaar” by Simon LeGrec “MR Arabian Nights 2” by Antipodean Winter “Dark Suspense Trailer” by Nastel Bom “Japan Background” by Yellow Bird Beats / Tunetank “Cyberpunk Futuristic City” by INPULSMUSIC “Stylish Blues Rock (Wild West)” by Brightest Avenue “Outlaw’s Reckoning” by Moodmode “Acidcore” by Jumping Bunny
Miria, Edryk, Kale, The All-Knowing, and the Squid set sail across the Astral plane and discover that it is anything but empty. This episode uses a mix of planar travel rules found in Advanced Dungeons & Dragons, Dungeons & Dragons 3.5e, and the D&D3.5e Planar Handbook, as the players travel across the Astral Plane. It also features a monster from Dungeons & Dragons3.5e: The Elsewhale. Elsewhale Elsewhale: HD: 16; AC: 6 [13]; Att: bite (4d8); SV: 4; Special: plane shift, adaptation, telepathy; MV: swimming 18, flying 18; AL: Neutrality; ML: 9; No. Appearing: 1d3; CL/XP: 20/2,4,400 Elsewhales are magical cetaceans that can be found on almost any plane. They wander the multiverse endlessly in pursuit of their own ineffable ends, devouring astral krakens and other planar creatures. They can sometimes be bribed to carry small groups in their mouths from plane to plane. Elsewhales Originally appeared in the Dungeons & Dragons Planar Handbook. Adaptation: An elsewhale immedatiely adapts to any ambient hazards of a plane, anything within 1′ of the elsewhale’s hide is likewise protected. An elsewhale can create a bubble of breathable hair that can last for 4 hours in its mouth. Plane Shift: An Elsewhale can cast plane shift at will. Telepathy: An elsewhale can communicate with any creature within 100′ that is capable of using language. Music in this Episode From the Free Music Alliance: King Edward by Mister Smith (CC-BY) from the Free Music Archive From Pixabay: “Opus 7” by Christian D “Psychedelic Atmospheric Dream Guitar” by Sonican “Stylish Blues Rock (Wild West)” by Brightest Avenue “Outlaw’s Reckoning” by Moodmode “Psychedelic Atmospheric Dream Guitar” by Sonican “Dark Ambiental Experiments” by Natarjan Connection Western Duel Rock by Abydos Music “The Collapse” by Alexander Nakarada “Dark Pagan Ritual Chant” by DOMARTI-LAB “Saffron Skies” by Lumine Wave “Sands of Alba” by Lumine Wave “Culprit Massacre” by Alexander Nakarada “Crystal” by Tyler Gill Awesome Pink Floydish Guitar by Palle1958 “Acidcore” by Jumping Bunny
A summary of Episodes 21-29. Swords Against Madness episode 30 is a summary of the plot from episodes 11 through 19. An opportunity to catch up on the plot or just refresh your memory. It adds nothing to the main plot-line. Cast This episode includes performances by: Jon Cohen from Tale of the Manticore Music in this Episode From the Free Music Alliance: King Edward by Mister Smith (CC-BY) from the Free Music Archive REVELATION by Soularflare (CC-BY) from the Free Music Archive From Pixabay: “Acidcore” by Jumping Bunny
This is a special bonus episode of Swords Against Madness featuring my new TTRPG, Undeadwood: Weird West RPG. Follow the Lost Soul Carson Swift, as he tries to help a bounty hunter track down a stolen item, only to be dragged into a battle between a powerful land-owner and a dark cult of alien mystics. This episode is played using my Undeadwood: Weird West TTRPG system, and its dark, American folklore-enriched setting of Wonkatonkwa County. The game is available on DriveThruRPG. You can also learn more about it through the game development podcast, Dead Man’s Dice, and on my weblog: Welcome to the Deathtrap. All music and Sound Effects are courtesy of Pixabay.
Miria, Edryk, and Kale finally reach the place where the All-Knowing believes there is a means to travel to the planes. The object they discover is far stranger than anything they could have imagined. In this session I reference the amazing role-playing game Dungeon Crawl Classics RPG from Goodman Games. DCC catches the strange psychedelic vibe of the books that inspired D&D – and Swords Against Madness – better than any other game on the market. It also borrows some rules for planar travel and plane shifting from Advanced Dungeons & Dragons and Dungeons & Dragons 3rd Edition to fill in the gaps in the Swords & Wizardry rule-set. Magic Item: The Wizard Van The Wizard Van is an enchanted 1974 Ford Econoline with air-brushed fantasy art on the sides and comfortable couches in the back. It is fuelled by magic-user spells. Each level of spell cast into its Flux Capacitor provides two hours of fuel. The van can shift to the Astral Plane by using 2 hours of fuel. It can also fly at 55 miles per hour, but has a ceiling of 50ft. and consumes twice as much fuel. Some Inspiration I mentioned the song Wizard Wagon by Glitter Wizard; if you want to check out this awesome (if explicit) song, you can hear it here! Cast This episode includes performances by: Jon Cohen from Tale of the Manticore Owen Rideout of The Boy in the Submarine Music in this Episode From the Free Music Alliance: King Edward by Mister Smith (CC-BY) from the Free Music Archive AI Generated Pieces: Fire up the Wizard Van by Doughnut Elemental (That’s me!) From Pixabay: “Stylish Blues Rock (Wild West)” by Brightest Avenue “Outlaw’s Reckoning” by Moodmode “Night Detective (no beats)” by Amaksi “Deep Forest” By NNChannel “Psychedelic Atmospheric Dream Guitar” by Sonican “Acidcore” by Jumping Bunny
The party may have destroyed the Dread Silkworm, a half-giant-caterpillar-half-god monster… but there are still more creatures devouring the juju garden, and a mission to fulfill. This episode opens with rounds 8-14 of a brutal gruelling battle! The Dread Silkworm may have fallen, but it is far from the only threat that the party was facing! This is an AI-free episode of Swords Against Madness. Cast This episode includes performances by: Jon Cohen from Tale of the Manticore Music in this Episode From the Free Music Alliance: King Edward by Mister Smith (CC-BY) from the Free Music Archive Used with special permission: Combat Cookie Tin by Jon Cohen From Pixabay: Aggressive Metal (Sinister) by Brightest Avenue Cybertech (Tense News Background) by Tune Tank “Stylish Blues Rock (Wild West)” by Brightest Avenue “Outlaw’s Reckoning” by Moodmode Magical Ritual Shaman Amazonian Indian by Denis-Pavlov Music Night Detective (no beats) by Amaksi Interstellar Dark by Lumine Wave Undeadwood: Weird West RPG Sometimes folks head out West, and just fall off the edge of the world. They end up here. Wonkatonkwa County. They just show up, confused, frightened, missing a year off their life with no idea where it went. A place full of walking dead, prehistoric monsters, black magic. t takes a special kind of grit to make your way here. You gotta be crazy, or nearly so just to make sense of what you are seeing. And if you weren’t crazy before, circumstance will be happy to oblige you. Best thing to do is get yourself a gun, and sober up the preacher so that he can give it a proper blessing, then find yourself something to hold on To. A bible. A bottle. It don’t really matter which… After all, You ain’t in Texas anymore. Undeadwood: Weird West is a dark weird west game that doesn’t take itself too seriously. It embraces some of the stranger, more offbeat elements of American Folklore. Along with the devils, ghosts, cursed treasure, and mad scientists, you can expect to see hodags, jackalopes, and thunderbirds. My goal is to play a game that has all the action and grit of a pulp Western story from Lariat or Triple-X, but fused with the humorously macabre of The Addams Family or Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Played using 2d6. And featuring work from some of the greatest artists to ever grace the pages of pulp western magazines. Now available on DriveThruRPG
